Sep. 28, 2012: City In Florida

“And then he stripped naked and ate a homeless guy’s FACE. Eyeballs and everything. And you know, everyone said he was tripping on bath salts, but the autopsy report said he didn’t even have any drugs in his system except weed.”

Sonny stood by Joel’s side, listening mindlessly while he watched his crew set up the Skrillex Cell from sidestage. It felt like he was watching them from a lot farther away than he really was, like he wasn’t even there. 

“Must have been one bad case of the munchies, then,” he muttered, thumb absentmindedly rotating his wedding ring around his finger. 

“Seriously, Sonny, I’m telling you, Miami is full of crazy people. You’re not leaving my sight until we’re out of the city. And you’re definitely not stagediving tonight, leave it until the next show.”

“Mm.” Sonny said, leaning his head on Joel’s shoulder. He felt tired, even though he’d gotten a pretty okay night’s sleep. Not that he could ever really sleep well on the bus, but still, it wasn’t abysmal and it didn’t warrant being so exhausted. After Joel’s words finally registered in his head he drawled, “Am I allowed to breathe, either?”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt, Son,” Joel sighed, exasperated. 

Sonny rolled his eyes and teased with a smile, “Guess it must be too dangerous to kiss you, too.”

“Well…” Joel smirked, an arm snaking around Sonny’s waist to bring him closer. “I never said you couldn’t take a few calculated risks.”

Both laughing, they leaned in to share a kiss. Joel backed them both behind a doorway and out of sight of the crew, and Sonny was happy to follow his lead, letting Joel push him against a wall.

They made out right there, just out of sight of the stage, for a long while, until eventually Sonny broke it up. Joel’s hands were still caressing the curve of his hips, thumbs running over the pudgy love handles he’d gained over the months from eating so much. God, those might have been Joel’s favorite part of Sonny now.

“Why’d we stop?” Joel asked, breath heavy and hot. 

“I’m just-” Sonny shifted nervously and pushed Joel’s hand off his side. “Not… in the mood. It was getting a little too heated.”

“Sonny John Moore-Zimmerman, not in the mood to drag me into a venue bathroom and suck my soul out of my dick?” Joel laughed, leaning down to kiss Sonny again. “Now there’s something new. I think this city’s getting to you, babe.”

“Joel, I mean it…” Sonny pushed Joel back, gentle but firm. “Get off me.”

Joel was a little disappointed, and still half-hard, but he respected Sonny’s wishes. He backed away, sticking his hands in his pockets just to keep them off Sonny. “If you say so, baby.”

“Thanks.”

Sonny made his way down the hallway, letting Joel follow him to the dressing room- not that they really needed it because they weren’t the kind of artists who wore elaborate costumes or anything, but it was still a chill space to hang out. Sonny sat on the counter, next to where he’d left his backpack, and started rifling through his bag for something. It gave Joel room to think. Sonny not being in the mood wasn’t impossible, but he couldn’t remember a time since January when they’d started doing something and Sonny asked him to stop. His eyes shot wide open and he blurted, “Are you pregnant?”

Sonny visibly wilted at the question as he pulled his laptop from his backpack. He set it in his lap and opened it up, trying his best to avoid Joel’s eyes as he answered, “No.”

“Are you sure you aren’t-?”

“Joel, knock it off.” Sonny propped himself up against the mirror, eyes locked on his laptop screen. In the reflection behind him, Joel was pretty sure he could make out Twitter. “Dad said I’d know if I was.”

“Didn’t he stop talking to you just because you were dating a human?” Joel prodded, sitting up on the counter next to Sonny. “Are you sure you can even trust him? Maybe he knew but you won’t.”

“It’s all I have to go off of. I have to trust him.”

“Well, don’t you have Gerard now?” Joel leaned against Sonny’s shoulder, peeking down at his screen. “Go message him.”

“He’s really hard–set on the government not knowing aliens exist. Won’t even let me message him about it. Says it’s because of the Patriot Act.”

Joel scoffed. “Thanks, Obama.”

Sonny narrowed his eyes. “The Patriot Act was passed under Bush.”

An awkward pause, before Joel shrugged and leaned back into Sonny. “Well, I’m just a dumb Canadian. I don’t know nothin’ about foreign politics. All I know is Tim Hortons, moose, and poutine, eh?”

Sonny rolled his eyes, but he still laughed anyway, because it was just so stupid. He pushed Joel, playfully. “You’re so fucking ridiculous.”

Sonny stood leaning over the railing on the VIP balcony, watching Foreign Beggars perform from where he stood. His head was killing him, and he felt nauseous, and the thumping bass wasn’t helping matters, even wearing earplugs- he could feel it in his chest. Still, he wanted to stay out here and watch Foreign Beggars until Joel came onstage to play his set, much calmer. He and Joel swapped headliner positions every other night of the tour, or every night, or whatever was convenient for the stage crew who had to set up either the Cell or the Cube, and some days they just flipped a coin on it, but Sonny preferred when Joel headlined. That wouldn’t be tonight, but he liked letting the night end on a mellow, calm note. On the contrary, Joel likened the nights Sonny headlined and he opened to the breakdown before a drop. The calm before the storm. It had its own appeal, for sure. 

Closing his eyes and just feeling the bass course through his body, trying to ignore the queasy feeling building up inside him, Sonny was eventually knocked out of his peaceful state by a pair of arms wrapping around his waist from behind, someone’s chest pressing against his back. He looked down just enough to see the tattoos and confirm it was Joel, before leaning into the touch. He leaned up enough to speak right against Joel’s ear so he could still hear him in the loud environment.

“What are you doing up here? You’re on in, like, ten minutes.”

“I told you I wasn’t letting you out of my sight.”

Sonny blushed, letting his hand come to rest on Joel’s bicep as he moved to kiss him. “Well, thank you, but your princess is in another castle. Go get ready for your set.”

“Only if you’ll come with me.”

Sonny rolled his eyes, but obliged. It wouldn’t do much good to worry Joel. He followed Joel as they made their way out of the VIP section and back into the backstage area, where a bunch of crew guys were watching the show- half making sure nothing went wrong or broke, half enjoying the music. Sonny locked eyes with Roadhog as he passed by him, and he waved. For a moment, he considered telling Roadhog he wasn’t feeling too hot and they might need to cut his set short, but… as Joel dragged Sonny into the sidestage area, he got a glimpse into the audience, into all the adoring fans who had come to see him and Joel perform. Some of them were wearing his merch. A couple had made replicas of the mau5head he’d designed for Joel. And when Sonny looked at them and thought about cutting his set, his heart broke. He could power through it, he was sure. For the fans. And they weren’t even playing a show tomorrow. It would be okay. He could drag himself through and take it easy to recover. 

As Foreign Beggars wrapped up their set and walked offstage, Joel gave them a fistbump. 

They watched the crew swap out some of the equipment, and then Joel picked up his mau5head and put it on Sonny, grinning. “Go out there, I want to see how long it takes them to realize you’re not me.”

“Uh, okay…”

Sonny stepped away from Joel farther than he strictly needed to in order to avoid hitting him with the ears on the way out. Joel snickered as he watched. Sonny rolled his eyes- not that Joel could see- before heading out. The weight of the head wasn’t making his actual head hurt any less, but he could understand why Joel wore it so much. It had a sort of noise canceling effect when he wore it, and nobody could see his face. It reminded Sonny a little bit of when his hair was really long and he hadn’t shaved it yet, when he was maybe 18 or something. His hair was always in his face and he could sort of hide behind it. He’d done the side-shave specifically to stop himself from doing that, but… he couldn’t say he didn’t miss it. Smiling a little, Sonny made his way up to the decks, soaking in the roar of the crowd. He waved to the crowd, then glanced backstage at Joel, who was absolutely cracking up. Sonny looked down at Joel’s setup. It was all familiar to him of course, they shared a studio after all. Suddenly, a mischievous grin spread across his face. Joel was gonna love this.

He started to play I Remember. It was a good opening track, even though he didn’t actually know Joel’s setlist. While the track played out, making only minor adjustments, he pulled up another song and got to work mixing it in, creating a semi-smooth transition on the spot…

Trolololololololol…

Sonny looked up at the audience as he took off his mau5head, grinning and giggling. Joel came onstage, laughing his ass off all the while, and took the head from Sonny. He waved to the audience and put it on himself, before transitioning back into I Remember. Playfully, he shoved Sonny back.

It was like a tidal wave hitting him all at once- the crowd becoming uproariously loud, the way the contents of his stomach felt like they were sloshing around inside of him as he was shoved. Sonny stumbled. It felt like the whole room was not just spinning, but full-speed tumbling down a flight of stairs. Joel was staring at him, and the stagelights- oh god, the stagelights, they were so bright. Sonny felt a wave of sudden, intense heat and nausea take over his body, black spots beginning to form in his vision.

The last thing Sonny felt was his body, now out of his own control, hitting the floor with a THUD.