Dec 20, 2011: Not Exactly

With Christmas fast approaching, Sonny and Joel had to finally stop putting it off and set up the Christmas tree. Well- they didn’t have to, but it was tradition to, and Sonny found it might be a good opportunity to try and bring up everything he still needed to tell Joel. So that morning after breakfast, they went ahead and pulled the artificial tree out of the closet and put it together, strung lights up around it and plugged them in- that was always Sonny’s favorite part of the Christmas tree tradition, getting to light it up. That, and adding the ornaments.

Sonny hummed happily as he hung up one of the little blue baubles in their collection, pretending not to notice Meowingtons on the floor, batting at one of the ornaments hung lower down on the tree, even though it was adorable. Joel seemed just a little bit bored, gaze focused somewhere far-off in the distance as he hung a longer red ornament. A perfect lull for Sonny to start the conversation.

“Joel,” Sonny prompted, his voice soft and noncommittal, like he didn’t particularly care about the answer. “Have you ever thought about starting a family?”

That snapped Joel out of his daze for sure. He turned to look at Sonny, a puzzled look crossing his face. “No. Why?”

Sonny forced a shrug, kneeling down to reach back into the box of ornaments. They were all so delicate they had to be wrapped individually, so each one he grabbed for was a new surprise. 

“It just crossed my mind, man. You know, ‘cause Christmas is always about family, and we’re just spending it with each other this year.”
It stung to say, but it was true. Joel glanced down at him, only just then noticing Meowingtons playing with one of the dangling ornaments. He bent down and grabbed Meowingtons underneath the arms, picking him up and holding him to his chest like that, hind legs dangling unsupported.

“I mean, if you think about it, we’re already a family. You, me, and this asshole.”

Sonny scoffed and let go of whatever ornament he had grabbed and stood up, taking Meowingtons from Joel. He grabbed the cat by its hindquarters, letting its front paws rest on his shoulder as he held it. “He doesn’t like when you hold him like that, you know.”

Joel grinned and rolled his eyes, kneeling down to grab an ornament from the box and unwrap it. “See, though? You’re proving my point. Meowingtons is already your baby. We don’t need another one.”

Sonny frowned a little and got back down on the ground, letting go of Meowingtons. Meowingtons stared at him for a long moment, something kind in his eyes, before stalking off. Sonny reached back into the box of ornaments, grabbing one and unwrapping it- huh. The wrapping was empty. Must have been extra paper. He grabbed for another.

“Besides,” Joel continued, standing up to hang his ornament near the top of the tree. “It’s not like I could get you pregnant if I wanted to.”
“Uh, right…” Sonny muttered, unwrapping the next- seriously, how was this one empty too? “Joel, I, uh..”

The words faltered on his tongue, and now Joel was staring right at him. Sonny’s hands shook as he undid the paper around another ornament, finally fruitful in his efforts. 

“What would you say if I told you I was, like… an alien? And had weird alien biology that meant I could get pregnant?”

Joel’s eyes seemed to bore into Sonny. His woolen winter pajamas felt impossibly hot all of a sudden, just from feeling Joel’s gaze.

“Uh- what?”

“If- I’m not,” Sonny backpedaled, standing up and turning to face Joel with an expression he himself couldn’t decipher, “Obviously, because like, aliens aren’t real. But- I mean, how would you react if I was secretly an alien all along and I could get pregnant?”

Joel scrunched up his nose. Sonny had always found that mannerism of his adorable, the way his whole face seemed to recoil into itself when he was indignant or confused, but now it was terrifying.

“Uh, I’d be really fucking weirded out?” Joel answered, obviously baffled. “I mean, how would that work? It’s not like we haven’t had sex. I’ve seen you naked a million times, how would I not notice if you had some crazy aliengina?”

Sonny forced out a nervous laugh, twisting and turning the bauble in his hands. “I dunno, man. If my species had really similar reproductive organs to humans. So similar we could blend in almost effortlessly. Just play along with it, if you found out I was actually an alien and I could get pregnant, what would you do?”

After a long silence, Joel shrugged and threw out, “Depends how much the CIA is willing to pay me for you.”

Sonny squawked indignantly. “I’m your fiancé!”

“Yeah, and you’re a kinky bitch, you’d probably like whatever they’re gonna do to you at Area 51,” Joel joked with a light grin. 

Sonny always appreciated Joel’s frankly crass sense of humor, knew the ‘hypothetical’ scenario was probably ridiculous to him, but he just couldn’t find it in himself to find Joel’s words funny. He scoffed to hide the way that comment bruised him. 

“I only let you do all that shit to me because I trust you.”

“Trust nobody, Sonny.”

Sonny nodded and took those words to heart. Maybe today wasn’t the day to tell him.